The compassionate way is the patient way.
Patience is the discipline of compassion.
Patience is the hard but fruitful discipline
of the disciple of the compassionate Lord.
Henri Nouwen
If someone were thinking about a word to describe you, would compassion come to mind?
Category: Prayer
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Take the Chance
Sorry I haven’t been posting every day. I’m laying some things out to update my blog, and, well, all this planning is seriously eating into my “blog” time.
A little advice. If you’re thinking about starting a blog, I’d say that they’re a lot of fun, but also a lot of work. But it’s worth doing if you have some idea that can help people. We all know there are lots of people who need some help right now, folks like you and me who are looking for a transformation, to get unstuck from where they are right now. They want to move forward, and are searching for ideas.
Even though we’re moving into the height of summer, the fall will be here before we know it 🙁 I’ve always liked making personal changes that coincide with the seasons, so I guess that’s why I’m deep into working through my planned updates to this blog. I can’t wait for you to see them.
I was having a conversation with a friend last night, and we were talking about taking changes. He’s definitely looking to get unstuck and wants to be excited about his future. Like so many people, he doesn’t have a lot of encouragement coming his way, and that’s too bad, because he needs it.
We talked about ideas for the future, brainstormed about options, and dreamed about potential. It was an exciting conversation. Is there something that you’ve wanted to do for a long time but haven’t followed through and brought it to fruition? I want to encourage you to start developing a plan. Pray about it. Think it through. Start talking to people about it. Take the chance. Most transformations don’t take place overnight, and they usually involve quite a bit of planning. Use these wonderful, relaxing and restful summer days to start thinking about your future. Trust that better days are yet to come!
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There by God’s Grace…
Last week was a really busy week, and I still haven’t recovered. So much for the weekend 🙁
When I got home from work last night, I had the chance to watch a Dateline episode on NBC. The story was entitled America Now: Friends and Neighbors, and focused on the toll our continuing recession is taking on poor, rural America. The show spotlighted Southeast Ohio, where visits to the local food pantry are up 30% in the last two years.
The only food one mother, who lived in her van with three kids, had been providing her small children was french fries. One man had worked 11 different jobs in the past five years, loosing one after another to financial collapses. As he tried to provide for his two teenage sons, he made the comment that if he was dead, at least they could collect his social security money.
It’s pretty safe to say that everyone reading this post right now is probably two or three paychecks away from disaster. If we, like countless others, lost our jobs or our health (or both), we would very quickly find ourselves in a very, very bad situation.
After watching that show, I feel so blessed with what I have. Even with the recession, most of us are still able to get by, generally doing ok. Not great, but getting by.
The thing is, there’s a massive number of people in the fight of their lives right now. We need to support them, both financially and prayerfully, as best we can. Find a way. Give a little or a lot. But give something, and try to make a difference. Do it quietly, behind the scenes. You will be blessed for your kindness.
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Forgiveness
A young friend of mine called me late last night. He grew up here in Westminster, but moved out-of-state a few years ago. We keep in touch and talk about once a month.
He wanted to talk because he had gotten himself into a very tough situation due to some poor choices he’d made.
Mainly, he was mad at himself. Not even twenty-one yet, he’ll be affected by the decision he made for the rest of his life.
I told him he needed to begin the process of forgiving himself. Not an easy thing to do when it comes to serious matters, but necessary.
I don’t know how it is for you, but I find it a whole lot easier to forgive someone else than to forgive myself. The issue with that is that you carry it around with you all the time. It affects every other relationship you have, and I don’t think it’s especially healthy.
I was thinking the other day how stupid I was to have sold all my investments (not that it amounted to a whole lot) in my mid-twenties and used the proceeds to pay for grad school. Had I kept that money where it was, my retirement planning would be going a whole lot better right now. But I did what I did, and it’s time to move on.
My young friend wants it all to go away so he can get back to just being an easy-going twenty-year old. Instead of trying to find something positive (there are many) in his situation, he’s totally focused on negative.
Forgiveness, especially of yourself, can be really difficult. But once you make the decision to do so, you can get back to genuine living. Is there really anything stopping us?
When I was first introduced to Ignatian Spirituality, I spent a fair amount of time pondering one of its key components, that being “finding God in all things.” For most of us, we’re used to finding God in our church buildings. We can also find Him when we look into the eyes of a loved one, or when we have a great day and everything seems to be just right.
For some of us, it’s a bit harder to find God when we’re confronted with some major issue, like the death of a child, the loss of a job, or it could be a terrible and unjust war, or maybe a devastating earthquake. The list goes on and on.
But St. Ignatius taught us that our God is active, personal, and, above all, present to us. His DNA is everywhere, in our family and friends, in our joys and sorrows, in nature, and also in the daily rhythm of life. He’s right there when we want Him to be with us, and He’s waiting for us to return after we reject Him. He’s always present, in the good and the bad.
Over the next few days, be open to God’s presence around you. Even if you feel distant from Him, it doesn’t change things. He made a promise a long time ago to be with us (Matthew 28:20), and He continues to keep it. Yes, we really can find God in all things. But you have to look 🙂
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Grace Before Meals
I was talking to my friend Fr. Leo Patalinghug at a youth conference a few weeks ago, and he mentioned that a new edition of his cookbook was coming out at the end of July. After our conversation, I realized how similar the goals of Grace Before Meals and Making All Things New are. In some sense, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at that. We have been friends for many years now, and we both are striving to help people integrate faith into their daily lives. Plus, we love to cook.
Fr. Leo is a great cook. We’ve prepared meals together in the past, and I’m always amazed at his culinary talents. His idea of bringing families together to not only share a meal, but, maybe more importantly, prepare it together, is one worth supporting.
When talking about preparing a meal, he doesn’t mean taking a box of lasagna out of the freezer and putting it in the oven. Instead, he reminds us that “the natural informality and familiarity of the kitchen” should be a place where families and friends can be comfortable talking.
When I designed my own kitchen, I wanted to create a very casual environment where I could talk with people while I cooked. Now, when I invite friends over for one of my sacred feasts, we start our appetizers while I’m cooking the main course. I feel like many people are afraid to cook, thinking it’s too complicated.
Of course, this isn’t necessarily true, and a shared goal I have with Fr. Leo is to make cooking simple, fun and enjoyable. We also want to remind people God is present with them all the time, even in the most basic daily events like cooking and eating.
Be sure to check out his website. There’s a lot of good info, and plenty of tasty recipes, although it’s a little light on vegetarian recipes. I’m going to have to talk to him about that 🙂
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Change
Change is never easy. Today, our parish began the process of giving our input as to who our new pastor should be. What are the qualities we’re looking for in our leader? Who do we want that person to be?
For many of us, we struggle with the idea that the man who led us over the last 17 years is leaving. More than a few feel that, if he has to go, we want them to send someone exactly like him. But, in our hearts, we know that this can’t happen. Whoever comes after our pastor and friend has to be his own person. He will come with the strengths and weakness’ that make up who he is. Would we really want him to be someone else? No.
Change is hard, but it’s part of life. Change can bring about experiences that we would never dream possible. Change can lead us to transformation. Think about caterpillars. If change and transformation weren’t a part of their lives, we would never see a beautiful butterfly. If a flower bulb didn’t change, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy beautiful flowers like the lilies above.
Would you really want to go through life as an infant? No, we grow and change and become the person God wants us to be. Change can be scary, but it can also be exciting. It might cause us to stretch and grow in ways we didn’t think we could.
I’m sad that I won’t be working alongside my friend of 16 years. But I look to the future with hope and a sense of excitement for things to come. There’s much work to be done in the vineyard of St. John. Well, not just here. Everywhere.
What changes are taking place in your life? Is what’s happening scary or exciting to you? A little of both? It’s ok. Go with it.
Maybe there needs to be some changes in your life, but you’ve been afraid to make them. Think them through, talk them over with a friend, pray about them. But don’t let fear hold you back from doing what you need to. Be at peace. Everything is in His hands.
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Do Something About It
I’ve got a challenge for you. I want you to think about some important issue you need to work on but have been avoiding or not really trying hard enough on it. I’m guessing something has already come to mind. It’s possible that you could create a whole list of issues, or maybe it’s just one or two.
Now I want you to ask yourself, “what’s holding me back from dealing with it/them?” Most of the time, what’s holding you back is, well, YOU. There’s a whole lot of people that carry around a self-defeating attitude. We’re our own worst enemy. That has to stop.
Today, I want to challenge you to start doing something about these issues, so that you can get moving on with your life. It’s going to be hard, and it might take a long time. But we need to do something about it, starting today.
If the issue is your health and you haven’t seen the doctor lately, make an appointment. When was the last time you got your blood checked? I know sometimes those visits/tests can be kind of scary, but I think I’m more scared of not knowing.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve learned that I have to be my own health care advocate. I need to be informed, and I need to take care of myself. If you are overweight and continue to eat at fast food restaurants, you need to stop. There is an unbelievable amount of data out there that shows the harmful effects of our poor eating habits. But no one is forcing you to eat that food. Stop. What health issue can you start working on today?
If the issue is your finances, get control of them. Do you have a budget? Do you have any idea where all the money is going? I know this is an area that I’m personally working on right now. I met with a financial planner last week, and have begun, after a very long hiatus, to start putting money aside for retirement. I just can’t wait anymore to do this. I can’t go backwards and try to make up for what I haven’t done. I can only go forward and become disciplined with my money. What are some things you can do to watch what you are spending?
If the issue involves a relationship, what can you do today to begin to improve it? Last week, I was talking to a group of teenagers about something called the “cube of love.” Basically, the cube has different sayings on each side related to love. Not just an ordinary kind of love, but the kind of love that marks us as a Christian. A person throws the cube, and whatever is written on the top of the cube when it lands is the challenge that day for the person. My favorite one is “be the first to forgive.” What a great thing to be doing. You don’t need to have your own cube of love to start being the first to forgive.
Maybe the issue with with your employment. You’re just not happy with what you’re doing. At this point, I think anyone with a job paying a decent wage should be grateful to have it. But that doesn’t mean we should be trapped. Are you trying to do your job better? How can you improve your skills, or learn something new that might be of benefit to your present employer, or a future one?
These are only a few issues that many of us are avoiding, and maybe you can’t relate to any of them. But I know that all of us has something we are not fully dealing with. No matter what the issue, it’s time to start working on it.
My point in all this is that we have to start taking responsibility for ourselves. We can’t wait for someone else to make it all better. With God’s help, He will make something new of us. That’s His promise. More than likely, though, He’s asking us to do our part too.
I hope that you will open to taking a look at those things you’ve been avoiding, and make a commitment to begin the process of working on them. We can’t just sit around waiting for something to happen. If we wait too long, I think we’ll have too many regrets to count.
Start believing in yourself! Have confidence in the Scripture passage found in the Prophet Isaiah (43:19) from where the theme of this blog comes from, “See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers.”
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Fireworks and St. Francis
One year, I was leading a tour of Italy and we happened to be in Assisi for the 4th of July. I had a bunch of teenagers with me, and they reminded me that they had never been away from the US on our Independence Day. I knew I wasn’t going to find any fireworks, and I also realized that it wasn’t necessarily the place to whip out our American flags.
So, we did the next best thing. We sat around in the piazza outside the doors of the Basilica of St. Francis, and prayed. One person had speakers attached to his ipod, so we listened to some praise and worship music, praying and singing, as the sun went down. It was a really beautiful and powerful prayer experience for me and my fellow travelers.
But what causes us to remember that evening is the fact that, as soon as the sun went down, somewhere on the opposite side of the valley below the Basilica, fireworks began shooting into the sky. The display didn’t last long, but, as I recall, it was a good-sized display. It had been like a miracle and we all stood there awestruck. Then we laughed like crazy.
God wanted to give us a little gift that night, and He surely did. I don’t think anyone on that trip mentioned being homesick again. Our God is a God of miracles, some big and some small. No matter how bad things might seem, we can never lose sight of His love and care for us.
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Grow Where You Are Planted
About three weeks ago, my first bulb catalogue came in. For a gardener, it’s like seeing the first Christmas merchandise roll into the stores after Labor Day. I’m not quite ready to think about it yet. I took this photo of these single late tulips this past spring. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten the name, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re not included in this year’s catalogue. I know I’m not thinking about it, but what’s wrong with a quick look?
I’m reading a book right now called Close To The Heart: A Guide To Personal Prayer. The part I read today caused me to remember these beautiful flowers in my back yard. Here’s what Margaret Silf wrote,
“If only I could have my life again, choose a different job, a different lifestyle, begin again, knowing what I know now…”
Almost everyone indulges in this daydream from time to time. When I feel these thoughts coming on, a short respite in my innermost garden helps me see things rather differently. For instance, sometimes “spring bulbs” tell me their story – of being buried beneath a suffocating weight of the clay. There in the clay that is cold, wet, dark and lonely. But at the same time deadening clay is the provider of the bulbs’ nutrition all through the unobserved growing months. From them I see that the circumstance we so often long to escape is the very place, and the only place, that can provide the means of our growth and bring us to the moment of rebirth in due season.
For so many of us, we’re always looking for ways to quickly escape our present circumstances. Our lives are filled with the thought “if only…” In this excellent book, the author reminds us that, if at all possible, we should be content with our present circumstances, trying to see the positive, instead of dwelling only on the negative.
If I decided to plant my bulbs in pots, and then keep those pots inside through the winter, fearing that the weather would be too hard on them, I would have no flowers the following spring. The bulbs need the winter freeze to bloom their best when the weather warms.
I trust in the fact that there are times when just being open to change and new growth is all that is asked of us. Eventually, that fresh start, a transformation, or that new life we long for will come to us, but it will happen in due season. As Matthew 6:28 reminds us, “look at the lilies of the field…”