In my first post on gratitude, I asked you to reflect upon all the gifts we have been given, and how important it is to strive to live a life of gratitude. We are so blessed, and yet most of the time we go about our lives focusing on what we don’t have, rather than on what we do have.
Today, I want to put a different spin on it. I want us to take a look at ingratitude, not only in our own lives, but also in the lives of those around us.
I often find myself getting angry when I don’t get recognized for something I’ve done. Why didn’t they acknowledge me? Didn’t my suggestions make her life easier? Thoughts of resentment and bitterness float through my mind. Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts when you’ve done something good for someone and you fail to recognized for it.
Some days, it seems like we’re surrounded by ungrateful people. Most days, we ourselves are ungrateful towards others (and God). Let’s admit it. We take people and their kindness for granted. We certainly take God for granted.
We find an example of this in the Gospel of Luke (17:11-19), when Jesus encounters ten men with leprosy. They asked Jesus to heal them of this terrible disease. Jesus instructed them to go show themselves to the priests, and as they left, they were healed.
Although all ten were healed, only one came back to thank Jesus. Now if the other nine freed up from leprosy failed to return to Jesus with gratitude, maybe we should not get too disappointed when others fail to recognize our good deeds, which pale in comparison to those of Jesus.
In How To Stop Worrying And Start Living, Dale Carnegie reminds us that,
It’s natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartache. (pg. 111)
Well said, Mr. Carnegie! Elsewhere he tells us that instead of expecting gratitude, we should expect ingratitude. We would be much happier if we just keep on giving and stop focusing on what we may or may not get in return.
Many years ago, someone introduced me to this prayer, called the Litany of Humility. If you sometimes struggle with the ingratitude of others (or see it in yourself), it might be a great prayer for you to try.
O Jesus meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver, me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver, me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase, and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
